Almost half-way to Easter.

We almost at the half-way point of Lent, and this is a good time to take a look at how we are doing with our Lenten disciplines. Some of the practices I have assigned myself are more difficult that others, and I sometimes fall short. But I need to remember that Lent is a time to grow closer to the Lord and to be aware of those areas in my life where I offend God and seek His mercy.  God is not a taskmaster. My Lenten practices are not a check list of activities that I have to complete and if I don't then I have failed.  If I find I slipped up, I need to just keep going not letting my slip deter me from continuing my Lenten journey.

It is almost like the weight loss program I am on. Sometimes I slip and have that piece of cake or an extra helping of pasta. The temptation is to say, "well, I had the cake, so I might as well have some ice cream too."  Since I had the ice cream, my whole program is done with and I might as well forget it. NO!  I had the cake, but I need to put that aside and continue on with my program. I should not let a moment of weakness mess up all my good efforts.

So too with Lent.  If I skip morning prayer or find myself watching a bit of television, instead of telling myself that I have failed, I just need to pick up where I left off and make a more concerted effort to keep my disciplines.  Lent is not some contest to see how much we can do or how much we can deny ourselves.  If it doesn't lead to metanioa, a true conversion of heart, then it's just an exercise.  If my Lenten practices do not lead me to true repentance then they are simply a list of things to do, sort of like New Year resolutions that are easily broken and forgotten.

As I look back on the different spiritual practices I engage in on a regular basis, many of them began as a Lenten disipline. Attending daily Mass as much as possible, praying in the car instead of listening to the radio, praying the Liturgy of the Hours, among other things, all began as Lenten practices.  I am not saying that everything I do for Lent continues year round. I am really looking forward to watching TV again after Easter, but maybe I won't watch as much, or perhaps I will be more selective as to what I watch instead of just mindlessly watching whatever is on at the moment.

As I enter into the second half of Lent, I ask the Lord to reveal to me what I need to do to grow even closer to Him before Easter, to reveal to me my weaknesses, my sins and the areas where I am doing well and following His commands.  I pray that He will continue to give me the grace to have a good Lent and lead me to share in His passion and resurrection. 

Discipline

This week I finally did something that I should have done several months ago, I went back to Weight Watchers.  I stopped going seven months ago and was doing well until I had my surgery in September.  A few weeks of sitting home with little activity found me eating more and moving less and I put on quite a number of pounds.  My reasons for returning to meetings and getting back on program were for health reasons, to feel good and to have more energy and, in my vanity, to look good at my daughter's wedding coming up next October.  But I also found that a big reason is to have more discipline.  I was finding that I was lacking discipline in several areas of my life and I am working on getting back on track.  Weight Watchers program is highly structured and for the plan to work, you have to follow it, keeping track of what you eat, and changing the way you look at yourself and your life.  It's not just about losing weight, and it affects more than just eating.

One of the areas where discipline is absolutely necessary is in our prayer life. I know how important prayer is, but laziness or spending time doing other things often takes precedence over my prayer. When this happens I find that things just don't go right when I don't give God the time He deserves and the time I need to hear His voice. Just like the weight creeps up when I am off program, when I am not praying other things begin to seem more important and I lose sight of how I should be living my life the way God wants me to live it. I get depressed, anxious and everything I am and do are affected, and not in a good way.

We are called to be people of prayer.  It is funny, but I am finding that prayer is helping me keep on program.  When I have the desire to grab for something that I should not be eating, saying a quick prayer asking God to give me the discipline to say "no" often helps me keep on track.  Prayer is a wonderful thing. Now I just need the discipline to get on that elliptical machine, life some weights, or go for a walk.