Discipline

This week I finally did something that I should have done several months ago, I went back to Weight Watchers.  I stopped going seven months ago and was doing well until I had my surgery in September.  A few weeks of sitting home with little activity found me eating more and moving less and I put on quite a number of pounds.  My reasons for returning to meetings and getting back on program were for health reasons, to feel good and to have more energy and, in my vanity, to look good at my daughter's wedding coming up next October.  But I also found that a big reason is to have more discipline.  I was finding that I was lacking discipline in several areas of my life and I am working on getting back on track.  Weight Watchers program is highly structured and for the plan to work, you have to follow it, keeping track of what you eat, and changing the way you look at yourself and your life.  It's not just about losing weight, and it affects more than just eating.

One of the areas where discipline is absolutely necessary is in our prayer life. I know how important prayer is, but laziness or spending time doing other things often takes precedence over my prayer. When this happens I find that things just don't go right when I don't give God the time He deserves and the time I need to hear His voice. Just like the weight creeps up when I am off program, when I am not praying other things begin to seem more important and I lose sight of how I should be living my life the way God wants me to live it. I get depressed, anxious and everything I am and do are affected, and not in a good way.

We are called to be people of prayer.  It is funny, but I am finding that prayer is helping me keep on program.  When I have the desire to grab for something that I should not be eating, saying a quick prayer asking God to give me the discipline to say "no" often helps me keep on track.  Prayer is a wonderful thing. Now I just need the discipline to get on that elliptical machine, life some weights, or go for a walk.

God speaks

School is back in session here on Long Island and as the first full week of classes begin so does the parish ministry year. Starting last Wednesday and up until this Thursday I count 8 meetings that I have attended or am supposed to attend here in the parish and on the diocesan level and there are more meetings coming up. Since I will be missing two weeks of work due to my surgery this coming Monday, there are so many things that have to be done before my last day of work on Sunday.  Not a good time of year for it to be necessary to take time off.  I wish this surgery could have been done in the summer, but things being the way they are it just didn't work out that way.  I guess there really is no good time for this kind of thing but hopefully all will go well and it will only be two weeks.  If not, then I am looking at a six week recovery.

As I have said in previous posts, I am  not that nervous about it and I think I am well prepared, but just to be sure I have Confession and Anointing of the Sick on my "to do" list for the weekend. Pre-op testing was this morning and all I need now is clearance from my primary physician. I find it amazing how God speaks the words I need to hear, just when I need to hear them. On Friday night I was at a meeting and someone asked if I would proclaim the first reading.  This was it:

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with  you. (Philippians 4:6-9)



Sunset in Assisi by Jo-Ann Metzdorff

Some people call these things coincidence, but for those of us who believe we know that there are no coincidences. The key is to recognize the voice of the Lord when He speaks. We don't need a mountain top experience or the sky to open up to hear His voice...we only need to be open to listening.  What I am hearing from this reading is that when we make prayer a priority in their life, when we dedicate our day to the Lord in praise and thanksgiving, then God will give us the peace that we seek and free us from anxiety.

There is another quote that I found for when things get a bit stressful and anxiety rears its ugly head. It is written by St.Teresa of Avila and is called her "bookmark."  I think this is going to go up on my wall, or at least I'll make my own bookmark.

Let nothing disturb thee; Let nothing dismay thee; All thing pass; God never changes. Patience attains all that it strives for. He who has God finds he lacks nothing: God alone suffices.

Mediation - Part III

The Rosary

Continuing on Pope Benedict's reflections on meditation from his Wednesday audience:

"Mary teaches us how necessary it is to find in our days -- with all their activities -- moments to recollect ourselves in silence and to ponder all that the Lord wants to teach us, how He is present and acts in the world and in our life: to be able to stop for a moment and meditate...

The holy rosary is also a prayer of meditation: In repeating the Hail Mary we are invited to think back and to reflect upon the mystery we have announced."

If one has difficulty with meditation, or has never really engaged in it, the Rosary is a good place to begin to learn to practice the art of meditation.  When we pray the Rosary, we meditate on the mysteries of the life of Christ.  Yet so often I hear people praying the Rosary at rapid speed and wonder how they can ponder the mysteries or even reflect upon what God might be saying to them as they pray? I wrote in a previous post that I did get impatient with the way people were praying the Rosary after Mass, and I later recalled that St. Therese got annoyed at the way one of her sisters would bang her beads on the pew.  I am far from being a saint so I still have a long way to go offer it to God as Therese did.  I hope the ladies receive many graces through their race to get through it.  I am also not saying that I always pray the Rosary immersed in meditation.  Sometimes I forget what mystery I am up to, telling me that I am not really paying attention nor putting my heart into prayer.

But there are times, I like to think more often than not, when I do allow the repetition of the Hail Mary, Our Father, and Glory Be to act as a sort of mantra that keeps me focused on the mysteries.  I like to pray the Rosary slowly and often in silence. That is why I usually can't pray it with a group like the one I mentioned, as their speed and their loudness would distract me. Praying the Rosary in a group that prays it meditatively however, is often better than praying it alone.  I have experienced this on pilgrimages and in prayer groups that I once belonged to.  The many voices become as one, as if part of a choir.  The softness of the prayers and sometimes singing in between the mysteries, allows for greater meditation and focus on Christ.

Agony in the Garden
by El Greco

While I do like all the Mysteries, especially the new Luminous Mysteries since there is so much in them to meditate upon, my favorite Mystery is the First Sorrowful Mystery, the Agony in the Garden.  I have always been attracted to the story and paintings of Jesus struggling to accept the will of His Father.  How easily I struggle with doing God's will and feel that God has abandoned me in my suffering.  As I meditate on this Mystery, I put myself in the Garden and I ask Jesus to send angels to support me and ask God to give me strength. I also sense the intense agony that Jesus went through and with Him I can resign myself to accept my meager sufferings and to give them to God, "let it be as your will, not mine would have it."

To those who say the Rosary is simply a rote prayer or boring, the Pope is asking us to use the Rosary to lead us into meditation.  As Mary contemplated the events in the life of her Son, so too we imitate her and ask her to bring us closer to Jesus.

Meditation - Part II

Lectio Divina.

Continuing with the Pope's reflections on meditation on August 17, he said:

"To meditate therefore means to create within ourselves an atmosphere of recollection, of interior silence, so as to reflect upon and assimilate the mysteries of our faith, and all that God is doing in us -- and not only the things that come and go. We can "ruminate" in many ways; for instance, by taking a short passage of sacred Scripture, especially the Gospels, the Acts of the Apostles, the Apostle's Letters, or a page from a spiritual author we are drawn to and which makes the reality of God in our today more present, perhaps taking advice from a confessor or spiritual director; by reading and reflecting on what we've just read, pausing to consider it, seeking to understand it, to understand what it says to me, what it says today -- to open our soul to all that the Lord wants to say to us and teach us."

Monk Reading
by Rembrandt

One of the disciplines that Benedictines, and certainly other religious and laity engage in is Lectio Divina or sacred reading.  It is an essential part of their prayer life. This is what the Pope is speaking about.  Lectio is an ancient approach to prayer that involves four stages:

     Lectio - slow and prayerful reading of a passage

     Meditatio - meditating on the passage

     Oratio- praying with the passage, asking God to speak to you through the words

     Contemplatio - allowing God to speak in the silence

Lectio Divina is best when using scripture but it can be practiced using other spiritual authors as the Pope suggests.  I usually reflect on one of the readings of the day for Mass, but I have also used passages from the Office of Readings or from spiritual books I am reading.  In my two year journey with John of the Cross, I often engaged in Lectio Divina using the writings and poetry of this great mystical doctor.

The first step, lectio, involves choosing a passage and reading it slowing a few times. Some suggest that reading it out loud is beneficial. The second step is meditatio.  We take the passage and "ruminate" on the words.  The suggestion I have been given is to "ponder and mull" the words on the page.  This can't be rushed.  Sometimes it takes about fifteen minutes, but other times it has taken me days to meditate on a passage.

What do I like about Lectio Divina?  First, it forces me to be still and silent.  It is difficult to focus and meditate with all the noise that surrounds us each day and the time I spend in sacred reading quiets the noise and brings me to a quiet place. Second, I become immersed in what I am reading, whether it be scripture or other spiritual reading.  It is different than reading for pleasure, or entertainment, or for academic purposes.  Third, the words speak to me personally. In reading and in meditating upon them I come to know God. Fourth, it is truly prayer.  Prayer is lifting of the mind and heart to God, and in sacred reading both the mind and heart are fully engaged in speaking to and listening to God. Finally, in the stillness and silence, I discover what God is telling me through the passage as I simply sit and listen.  This final step, contemplation, is completely in the hands of God.  It is in this step where the stresses and concerns of the day fade into the background and my body relaxes in God's gentle caress.

Meditation - part I

 My daughter is a licensed acupuncturist and as part of her practice she often encourages patients to engage in some type of meditation. Meditation helps to reduce stress, anxiety and tensions in the body. It also helps clear the mind and allows one to focus better. It has been part of traditional Chinese medicine and Oriental spirituality for thousands of years.  There are many different types of meditation and beginning in the 1960's engaging in some sort of meditation has become very popular in the West.  Yoga and Tai Chi, physical exercises that often produce the same effects as meditation are growing in popularity. Within two miles of my home, I can find several places that offer some sort of meditation or meditative exercise to stressed out people in need of a way to relieve the stresses in their lives, and clear their minds. There are even Catholic retreat centers that offer Zen meditation, Yoga or Tai Chi as part of their spiritual programs, and there are Catholics who have written about the benefits of these practices both physically and spiritually.  But there are other Catholic writers who have warned against them saying that they open those who practice it up to the occult. One has to be careful when dealing with the spiritual life and that our focus always remains with God.

The Church encourages a form of meditation that is often overlooked by those seeking stillness, silence, and a way to connect with God. That practice is prayer.  Too often when people think of prayer they only focus on formal or vocal types of prayer, going to Mass and devotions, praying from prayer books, and reciting rote prayers. A traditional definition of prayer is lifting of our minds and hearts to God. What better way than to sit in silent meditation before Him who created us, and simply BE in His presence.  At his Wednesday audience on August 17, Pope Benedict XVI spoke on the need for meditation and silence in our lives.  In part the Pope said:

"In our own time, we are absorbed with so many activities and commitments, concerns and problems. Often, we tend to fill up all the spaces of the day, without having a moment to stop and reflect and to nourish our spiritual life -- our contact with God. Mary teaches us how necessary it is to find in our days -- with all its activities -- moments to recollect ourselves in silence and to ponder all that the Lord wants to teach us, how He is present and acts in the world and in our life: to be able to stop for a moment and meditate. St. Augustine likens meditation on the mysteries of God to the assimilation of food, and he uses a word that recurs throughout the Christian tradition: "ruminate." The mysteries of God should continually resound within us so that they might become familiar to us, guide our life, and nourish us as happens with the food that is necessary to sustain us. And St. Bonaventure, referring to the words of sacred Scripture, says that they "should always be ruminated on so as to be kept in mind by the ardent application of the soul" 

There are so many ways that we Catholics can practice meditation and once the practice takes root, most find that it produces many of the same physical, psychological effects as other forms of meditation.  The spiritual effects go beyond words. The important thing is to spend the time in silence, invite God in, and let Him take over.  For this to happen, we need to find a quiet place.  For me it is usually in church, or at the beach, or in my summer garden.  In these place I can find the peace and quiet that I need to focus my thoughts and my heart on God.  While it is true that we should always have our Our Lord in our hearts and in our minds, I find that it is through meditation that I make that special connection that allows God to speak to me and to work toward union with Him.  

Silence is Golden

Today I had to walk out of church after Mass lest I be led into sin.  No, it was not something that was said in the homily, or the fact that the priest ad libbed parts of the prayers, or that he chose not to celebrate the memorial of the Dedication of St. Maria Maggiore, one of my most favorite churches in all the world.  What caused me to leave was the behavior of the assembly after Mass.  I am not a stickler for absolute silence in church, however there is a certain etiquette that should be followed regarding being quiet in church, whispering if one must speak so that those who choose to pray are able to.  

Over the past week, the notion of silence has manifested itself to me in different readings and in my personal meditations. I had planned on writing about silence since God certainly was speaking to me about the need for it, yet I was procrastinating. After this morning Mass, I guess God was telling me that I should not put it off any longer. In the book Rediscovering Catholicism, Matt Kelly writes about how important silence is to prayer and how our lives are filled with so much noise that it is almost impossible to hear the voice of God.  He writes, "Our modern world is spinning out of control, and one of the chief contributors to the chaos and confusion of our modern age is noise. We are filled with noise. We are afraid of silence."  In this coming Sunday's first reading, God is found not in the loud thundering sounds of storms, wind and earthquakes, but in the "tiny whispering sound." 

In one of my readings from the Holy Rule this week, Benedict writes with regard to silence in the oratory, "After the Opus Dei, all should leave in complete silence and with reverence for God, so that anyone who may wish to pray alone will not be disturbed by the insensitivity of another."  Pretty strong words.

The benefits of silence are many.  It allows the mind to quiet itself and bring to the forefront things that are really important by taking away the distractions that come with noise.  It allows us to focus our prayer. Most of all, it allows us to hear the still, small voice of our Lord.  

Ridding ourselves of noise is not easy, especially when you live with others who do not share the same views on silence. I guess Jesus faced some of the same issues (although He didn't have to deal with modern electronic noise making devices), because he always went off alone to pray.  We don't always have that luxury, but there are ways to achieve times of silence.  For years I have not played the radio in the car.  Although I once loved listening to music all the time, I find that not listening, even at home, is a good thing, and also lets me appreciate music better when I do choose to listen.  Once a TV addict, I now only watch a little of it, and avoid the news and gossip stations.  My cell phone is usually on silent or vibrate, although I do get chastised for missing calls, most that really weren't that important anyway (what did we do without cell phones - especially in church).  I believe that noise is a huge obstacle to prayer. If we want to pray well, we need to turn off the noise in our lives, or at least a portion of it.  

This brings me back to this morning's incident at church. Several different groups of people were making a lot of unnecessary noise and it got louder and louder as each group tried to be heard over the other.  One group was actually shouting the Rosary, as if our Lady was hard of hearing.  The ladies setting up for a funeral were yelling across the church to each other. A large family group was loudly conversing. There were people in the church trying to pray.  I had the need to pray.  Finally the distraction got so unbearable that my thoughts were wandering far from God, so I left to continue my prayer at home.  I would have preferred to be in front of the Blessed Sacrament, but God is everywhere.  I could have offered up the annoyance, but it was so noisy that this thought didn't even come to my mind until I was home for awhile, and it still would not have given me the silence I needed to hear God.

What all this is telling me, and I hope telling some of you, is to make time for silence in your life, and in places of peace and quiet, to be aware of others need for silence. We can't always go away to pray, although a retreat is probably the best way of achieving silence. Yet even on retreats I have found that there is unnecessary noise and chatter. Why are we afraid of silence?  Why are we afraid to hear God?  One of the things that stand out for me during my travels to Italy, were the old ladies in the churches who would call out "silencio" when people started to speak above a whisper in church.  Perhaps we need some of those old ladies in our churches, on our street corners, in our homes and workplaces.  Maybe we need to be less afraid of silence and realize that it is in the silence that we meet God.

Post script:  Just in case I gave the impression that I lack patience, I did try to pray through this for 15 minutes before I left the church.

It's a Matter of Trust..and Patience

I have discovered that it is very easy to talk about trusting God, but a bit more difficult to put it into practice. Last week I wrote that I was having several medical tests.  Well, in addition to the high cholesterol, I just found that that my sonogram showed something that is potentially serious. Of course they don't tell you anything over the phone so I started to worry and after looking the condition up on the internet my mind started expecting the worst.  I decided the best thing to do was go down to the beach to walk and pray.  It was there that I realized that I have to put my money where my mouth is so to speak. I talk about trust in the Lord, now I have to do it, put all my trust in Him, no matter what the outcome.

Sunset at Jones Beach

As I was walking over the sand at sunset, I sensed a calm come over me.  I recall walking on the beach several years ago during a rough time, and "hearing" the Lord tell me that I have much more to suffer. I sort of shrugged it off, but last night those words came back to me.  Yet, what also came back to me were the words of St. Therese in one of her poems. This great saint totally embraced her suffering, giving it all to Jesus, and trusting in His Love for her.

If sometimes bitter suffering
Should come to visit your            heart,
Make it your joy:
To suffer for God...                     what sweetness!...
Then Divine tenderness
Will make you soon forget
That you walk on thorns

Well, I'm not a saint, and I don't think I can easily get to the point that Therese got with regard to her suffering and illness. But I can learn from her.  Her Love for God put her pain and suffering in the proper perspective.  I am praying that I will find out that I really don't have anything too seriously wrong, but I will have to be patient in finding out since I could not get a follow up appointment until the end of August.  Patience is a virtue that is almost as difficult to achieve as trust.  But, it is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit so perhaps God is asking me to pray my favorite novena, the Novena to the Holy Spirit.  Prayer is a better way to deal with situations like this rather than getting anxious any day.

Diet and Exercise

My annual medical checkup had been almost two years ago so I thought with summer kind of slow it is a good time to schedule appointments with my various doctors.  This week I had two doctor appointments for physicals, a complete blood workup, an EKG, and a bone density evaluation. Two weeks ago I had a mammogram, and next week I have to go for a sonogram.  So far everything seems fine except for one thing, my cholesterol is 235.  The doctor wants it to be 185. The good thing is that my HDL and triglycerides are good, but I still have to lower that LDL.  She said I need to lose weight (yes, I know that), stop eating animal fats, and get plenty of exercise. Also, to keep my bones healthy she wants me to lift weights and walk.

I took the news in stride, but when I got home I realized that means no burgers on the grill, and the sausage and peppers I made the other night will have to be eaten by someone else.  I'm not a big red meat fan, but the fact that I am now called to avoid it makes me feel deprived. As for exercise, well, I have weights just sitting in the corner of my room, and the 4 mile boardwalk, which is delightful to walk, is only a 10 minute drive away.  I guess it's time to make some changes and pay attention to diet and exercise to keep healthy. The truth is, when I don't pay attention to these things that might not be good for me, my body lets me know its time to start paying attention or pay the price of getting sick. 

This evening while meditating, I was reflecting on what the doctor ordered and started to think about my spiritual health.  My spiritual side also needs an occasional checkup and "diet and exercise" to keep it healthy and to help  me advance toward the goal of union with God. What kind of diet and exercise do I need?  Well, just as what I eat will have an affect my physical health, I have to ask myself what I let enter my soul that I really should be avoiding, and what should I be doing to keep a healthy spiritual life? What is my spiritual diet? The word diet is derived from the Greek word diaita, which means "a way of life." A healthy spirituality means following a way of life that is centered on Christ and on the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist.  Diet also derives from a Latin word dieta, which means "a days work." Being a Christian is work, more often than not. But what is the "work" of a Christian?  The work of a Christian is to continue the mission of Christ in this world, and to follow the will of God in all things. This calls for a steady diet of prayer, scripture, sacraments and avoiding those temptations that lead me to sin and away from God.

So how to we sustain this way of life? Here is where the exercise comes in.  All the great saints have engaged in any number of spiritual exercises.  Prayer is first on the list, in fact for a healthy spiritual life prayer is essential.  How do I pray?  It is simply routine or do I really communicate with God? These are important questions. I  also include some sort of meditation and spiritual reading as part of my daily spiritual exercise.   I know as a Benedictine Oblate I really should be engaging in Lectio Divina daily, but just as I make excuses against going for that walk on the boardwalk, I often find all sorts of excuses not to engage in Lectio. Acts of popular piety are also on the excercise list. Today many people reject some of these acts as old fashioned or not for them, but many traditional acts of piety such as the Rosary, chaplets, time spent in adoration, novenas, and dedication to particular saints, are ways to deepen our spiritual life.  Regular celebration of the Sacrament of Penance and confiding in a spiritual director or a close spiritual friend (in Celtic spirituality this is called anam cara), are good ways of being assured that I am on the right track in my spiritual journey as long as, like with my medical doctors, I give heed to the advice I am given. Having a prayer partner or having a Christian community to pray with helps keep me focused and accountable.

What happens when I don't stick to a diet and exercise routine? I gain weight, feel sluggish and put my body at risk for illness. What happens when I don't stick to a spiritual diet and exercise routine? I don't know about you, but I usually can tell that my life is out of sorts. I don't have enough patience, it seems that things start to go wrong, and I get restless and anxious. It also pulls me away from what I need to do to grow in my relationship with God. In other words, it keeps me from being open to God's Grace. So here we are in mid summer and I have been pointed on a way to good health physically and spiritually.  The important thing is to now stick to it!

Feasts, Feathers, and Tom

Today is the memorial of Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha.  Kateri was a Mohawk Indian born near Auriesville, NY in 1656.  She became a Catholic at the age of 20, relocated to Canada, and devoted herself to prayer and the Eucharist. She died at the age of 24 in 1680.  She was the first Native American to be declared Blessed and has been called "the Lily of the Mohawks."

History has painted a pretty awful picture of Native Americans. While I do not deny that there was much violence against European settlers, and especially against priests and religious, it is also true that these were a very spiritual people who had a deep respect for creation and their traditions. When I was doing graduate work in education, I took a history methods course and the prof was very much into Native American history, especially their spirituality. While we as Catholics tend to dismiss Native spirituality as pantheism, there is something we can learn from it...respect for God's creation, adherence to tradition, and the importance of ritual celebration.

Speaking of ritual, the memorial of Blessed Kateri brings back memories of my summers at Notre Dame and one of my classmates named Tom. Tom is the kind of person who makes being Catholic fun!  Some of the things Tom did or said might have bordered on the irreverent, but if you know Tom, you know his love for Christ and for the Church.  What does Tom have to do with Kateri, or ritual?  Well, when we were at Notre Dame, Morning Prayer was celebrated for the students every weekday before class in Our Lady's Chapel. It was an intimate setting where usually just a handful of liturgy students and profs would antiphonally chant or sing Morning Praise. Kateri's feast day seemed to be one of Tom's favorites, or was it just that the hymn they would always choose to sing that morning seemed to have an Indian tom tom (no pun intended) beat.  Tom is good at making up alternate lyrics for hymns, and as I recall he came up with some good ones for Kateri (always presented to us after prayer as we walked to class).  Tom knew the power of humor, and never a day went by when Tom would have us in stitches as we sat around the table in the South Dining Hall (which is reminiscent of Hogwarts main hall, complete with a portrait of Dumbledore at one end - actually it was Fr. Sorin but the beard made the likeness unmistakable).  Study evenings in the dorm were often filled with laughter and silliness at break time.  Working on a class project with him for Ritual Studies didn't seem like work at all (we explored "strange new worlds"and decided that birds must live in the basilica). Tom showed us how not to get anxious over our studies, helped us to relax, and not take ourselves too seriously.

One year, on the feast of Kateri, I took a morning walk by St. Mary's Lake before prayer, something I never did since it was hard enough to get up early to even make it to prayer.  As I was walking I found a feather. Finding a feather is no big deal considering the duck, swan and goose population around the lakes, but it made me think of Kateri, and of Tom.  I brought the feather to the basilica and presented it to Tom before prayer as a gift in honor of Kateri.  Tom put it in his hair and wore it.  He wasn't trying to be funny, at least it didn't seem like it.  He was truly grateful for this simple gift. I hope he realizes what a gift he was to us during those summers. 

Humor is a great gift from God.  It helps to lighten our load, brighten our day, and see things from a different perspective when it is done to build up and not break down.  So often today humor is used as a way to make fun of people, to put them down, to criticize, and to tear apart. The Church often bears the brunt of jokes and degrading humor. I will always be grateful for Tom's contribution of good humor during my time of study, as I have so many stories of how Tom lightened my load and those of my classmates.  

So lighten up! As we celebrate Kateri's feast day, spend some time outside honoring God's creation (she is one of the patrons of the environment).  If you happen to come across a feather, well maybe Kateri is smiling on you.  And Tom, if you still have that feather I gave you, take it out and know that I am thinking of you, blessing you for your humor, and hearing the sound of tom toms.

Happy Summer

Summer is here and this is where I will be spending a lot of my evenings - the boardwalk at Jones Beach.  I am not particularly a beach person. I don't like sand and I don't like crowds. Jones Beach is a popular spot and gets very crowded in the heat of a summer's day.  But night time at the beach is different.  The boardwalk is two miles long a filled with lots of excitement.  I like to go down after dinner and walk, usually by myself.  It is a good place to pray and to reflect on the beauty of God's creation.

I have always liked boardwalks. As a child, both sets of grandparents lived in Coney Island, and I fondly remember spending hours "under the boardwalk" getting relief from the heat. That was at a time when under the boardwalk was a safe place to hang out.  When we moved to Long Island, we lived within walking distance to the beach, and many a summer night was spent riding my bicylcle with my mother on the Atlantic Beach boardwalk.  My elementary school was located across the street from the Long Beach boardwalk.

But the Jones Beach boardwalk is special.  There are spots on it that are busy and crowded, but other areas that are quiet and out of the way. God has spoken to me vey clearly many times during my evening walks. Once He surprized me with a bush full of Monarch butterflies when I was feeling a bit low.  Other times I heard His voice in the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, reminding me that His Love is as constant as the rising and falling of the tides.  A number of times he has blown me away by the awesome beauty of the full moon rising over the Atlantic Ocean.

If the sun hasn't set, I sometimes walk down to the water and watch the sandpipers running across the damp sand, or hermit crabs carrying their houses.  While there are not a lot of shells, every once and awhile I do find a real beauty.  God's presence is all around me at the beach in the evening. I feel Him in the cool breeze, in laughter of children as they get their last chance to put their feet in the water before they close the beach for the night, and in couples snuggled together wrapped in a blanket sitting on water's edge.  Back on the boardwalk I could stop to listen to music at the bandshell or, if the wind is right, hear the sounds coming from Jones Beach theatre.  People watchng is always fun.  The cultural diversity of the people on the boardwalk helps me to see that God is in all people.  Everyone is happy on the boardwalk.  You can have an icecream, a cool drink, play volleyball, shuffleboard or miniature golf, or join in square dancing or line dancing.

The boardwalk is a place to relax and be renewed after a day's work.  I feel that is why God made beaches and why He inspired people to build boardwalks.  If you have the time, come down to Jones Beach one night.  Maybe I'll see you there.

Tending your garden

It always takes some adjusting when one gets home from vacation. Yes the time away is enjoyable and good, but then we have to come back to reality with its schedules, deadlines, and other responsibilities. I am trying not to let coming back to home and work be too stressful.  I have come to discover that giving into stressful situations is one of my faults which I am working hard to overcome, hence the title of this blog and the scripture passage from where it comes.

One of the things I am doing in the few days I have been back in New York is tending my garden.  I have made a few trips to the nursery and The Home Depot and have been planting flowers around the yard and on the deck. Flowers make me happy.  I don't have a green thumb so it may not look like a botanical garden, but as I sit outside in the morning to say my prayers, with a cup of coffee and the sound of the birds chirping in the tress, I feel at peace and at one with nature and with the Creator of all that is beautiful and good.

It's early in the season and my plants are still small, but soon they will grow and the yard will be filled with color.  I kind of think our spiritual life is like that.  We start out "small," like a seed or seedling, and the more nourishment we get through our relationship with God, the more we grow in our spiritual life.  It reminds me of the inquirers in RCIA.  They start out not knowing that much but have a desire for God and to grow in their love of God. We nourish them with God's Word and help them to understand what it means to be a Christian. By the time Easter comes they are "blossoming" and hopefully will continue to bloom throughout their lives. 

The image of a well tended garden to describe the spiritual life is one that has been used throughout the centuries. Jesus himself used the image in His parables of the Sower and the Seed, and when He spoke of trees giving fruit. St. Teresa used the image of watering a garden to describe advancing in one's prayer life.  Along with water, a garden needs sun.  So too, we need the Son. Just as flowers lean toward the sunlight, we must follow the Son where He leads us.  Only in this way can we expect to blossom in the spiritual life.

  

Rain Down

We here in the Northeast are being deluged with rain.  I know my family in Florida would love to have some of it since they are experiencing a severe drought, but I just wish it would stop so we could enjoy some spring before the heat of summer arrives.  The fact that I am going to Florida in a few days keeps me from getting too depressed over it

Yet, in meditation this morning, quite a few things came to me regarding the rain.  First of all it reminded me of the little rhyme of my childhood "April showers bring May flowers."  Well it is May and it's been raining too much to even plant my flowers, but the grass is really growing well and the dirt of winter is being washed away.

I was also reminded of something one of our Neophytes said to me on Holy Saturday morning. It was raining and we had just finished the Preparation Rites. She said that when she woke up that morning she was a bit disappointed that it was raining on the day of her baptism. Then she remembered that water was the primary symbol of baptism, and that it was the Holy Spirit raining down upon her preparing her for the waters of baptism that would come later that evening.  WOW, so many times those in our RCIA process really come up with some profound thoughts.

I also thought of St. Teresa of Avila and her image of rain for her fourth stage of contemplation, what can be called infused contemplation or prayer of union. The way Teresa described it is as rain that comes down from heaven with no effort on our part. It is pure Grace. I could say that I have experienced moments of this, very brief moments, at key times in my life, and it truly is a Grace.

So, I guess the rain isn't really that bad.  I guess I'll just settle in with a cup of tea, my journal, and listen to the rain beating on the window...and to the Lord.

Prayer



"Woman in Prayer" by Paul Gauguin

Today is the National Day of Prayer. In 1988 President Reagan signed a bill into law making the first Thursday in May a day for the nation to focus on prayer, whatever their creed. It's a good idea, but honestly I don't think many people know about it.  I didn't know about it until yesterday when I was looking up some information on the internet.  I do find it interesting though that I was planning on publishing this post on prayer today, May 5th, and even more surprizing is that yesterday in Rome, Pope Benedict announced that his weekly audience talks will focus on prayer.  Coincidence?  Hmmm.

What prompted me to write on prayer was that the other day I came across a quote by Thomas Merton that truly touched me.  He wrote, "All true prayer somehow confesses our absolute dependence on God. It is therefore a deep and vital contact with Him...It is when we pray that we really are."  That is a very powerful statement, but can be a confusing one.  Yes, prayer does express our dependence upon God, because often we are asking for something, something we cannot achieve on our own, or for a need that we have.  Our prayers of thanksgiving recognize that God has graced us in some way and we are expressing our gratitude, which is also acknowledging that we are dependent upon Him.  But what about the rest of that quote.

True prayer, in the sense that Merton conveys, I believe goes beyond asking and thanksgiving. What is the purpose of prayer?  I have often been reminded that the ultimate purpose of prayer is communion with God. Pope Benedict stated in his audience yesterday that "expressed in every prayer...is the truth of the human creature, which on the one hand experiences weakness and indigence, and because of this asks help from heaven, and on the other is gifted with extraordinary dignity, as, preparing himself to receive divine Revelation, he discovers himself capable of entering communion with God." It is because of God's gift of faith that we can even approach God in prayer. God wants us to come to Him. He calls to us. 

True prayer goes into the realm of simply being in the presence of the Almighty, realizing that He is the fulfillment of all our desires.  It is what is called "mystical union." Many of the great mystics, like John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, have written of this union. It is in this communion with God that we become what we are, what we were created to be by God. Eastern Christians call this theosis or divinization, a sharing in the life of the Trinity. St Athanasius, whose feast day we celebrated Monday,    explained theosis as "becoming by grace what God is by nature."  Sort of makes you want to pray, doesn't it?