God speaks

School is back in session here on Long Island and as the first full week of classes begin so does the parish ministry year. Starting last Wednesday and up until this Thursday I count 8 meetings that I have attended or am supposed to attend here in the parish and on the diocesan level and there are more meetings coming up. Since I will be missing two weeks of work due to my surgery this coming Monday, there are so many things that have to be done before my last day of work on Sunday.  Not a good time of year for it to be necessary to take time off.  I wish this surgery could have been done in the summer, but things being the way they are it just didn't work out that way.  I guess there really is no good time for this kind of thing but hopefully all will go well and it will only be two weeks.  If not, then I am looking at a six week recovery.

As I have said in previous posts, I am  not that nervous about it and I think I am well prepared, but just to be sure I have Confession and Anointing of the Sick on my "to do" list for the weekend. Pre-op testing was this morning and all I need now is clearance from my primary physician. I find it amazing how God speaks the words I need to hear, just when I need to hear them. On Friday night I was at a meeting and someone asked if I would proclaim the first reading.  This was it:

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with  you. (Philippians 4:6-9)



Sunset in Assisi by Jo-Ann Metzdorff

Some people call these things coincidence, but for those of us who believe we know that there are no coincidences. The key is to recognize the voice of the Lord when He speaks. We don't need a mountain top experience or the sky to open up to hear His voice...we only need to be open to listening.  What I am hearing from this reading is that when we make prayer a priority in their life, when we dedicate our day to the Lord in praise and thanksgiving, then God will give us the peace that we seek and free us from anxiety.

There is another quote that I found for when things get a bit stressful and anxiety rears its ugly head. It is written by St.Teresa of Avila and is called her "bookmark."  I think this is going to go up on my wall, or at least I'll make my own bookmark.

Let nothing disturb thee; Let nothing dismay thee; All thing pass; God never changes. Patience attains all that it strives for. He who has God finds he lacks nothing: God alone suffices.

Meditation - part I

 My daughter is a licensed acupuncturist and as part of her practice she often encourages patients to engage in some type of meditation. Meditation helps to reduce stress, anxiety and tensions in the body. It also helps clear the mind and allows one to focus better. It has been part of traditional Chinese medicine and Oriental spirituality for thousands of years.  There are many different types of meditation and beginning in the 1960's engaging in some sort of meditation has become very popular in the West.  Yoga and Tai Chi, physical exercises that often produce the same effects as meditation are growing in popularity. Within two miles of my home, I can find several places that offer some sort of meditation or meditative exercise to stressed out people in need of a way to relieve the stresses in their lives, and clear their minds. There are even Catholic retreat centers that offer Zen meditation, Yoga or Tai Chi as part of their spiritual programs, and there are Catholics who have written about the benefits of these practices both physically and spiritually.  But there are other Catholic writers who have warned against them saying that they open those who practice it up to the occult. One has to be careful when dealing with the spiritual life and that our focus always remains with God.

The Church encourages a form of meditation that is often overlooked by those seeking stillness, silence, and a way to connect with God. That practice is prayer.  Too often when people think of prayer they only focus on formal or vocal types of prayer, going to Mass and devotions, praying from prayer books, and reciting rote prayers. A traditional definition of prayer is lifting of our minds and hearts to God. What better way than to sit in silent meditation before Him who created us, and simply BE in His presence.  At his Wednesday audience on August 17, Pope Benedict XVI spoke on the need for meditation and silence in our lives.  In part the Pope said:

"In our own time, we are absorbed with so many activities and commitments, concerns and problems. Often, we tend to fill up all the spaces of the day, without having a moment to stop and reflect and to nourish our spiritual life -- our contact with God. Mary teaches us how necessary it is to find in our days -- with all its activities -- moments to recollect ourselves in silence and to ponder all that the Lord wants to teach us, how He is present and acts in the world and in our life: to be able to stop for a moment and meditate. St. Augustine likens meditation on the mysteries of God to the assimilation of food, and he uses a word that recurs throughout the Christian tradition: "ruminate." The mysteries of God should continually resound within us so that they might become familiar to us, guide our life, and nourish us as happens with the food that is necessary to sustain us. And St. Bonaventure, referring to the words of sacred Scripture, says that they "should always be ruminated on so as to be kept in mind by the ardent application of the soul" 

There are so many ways that we Catholics can practice meditation and once the practice takes root, most find that it produces many of the same physical, psychological effects as other forms of meditation.  The spiritual effects go beyond words. The important thing is to spend the time in silence, invite God in, and let Him take over.  For this to happen, we need to find a quiet place.  For me it is usually in church, or at the beach, or in my summer garden.  In these place I can find the peace and quiet that I need to focus my thoughts and my heart on God.  While it is true that we should always have our Our Lord in our hearts and in our minds, I find that it is through meditation that I make that special connection that allows God to speak to me and to work toward union with Him.  

Guilty Pleasures

I have a confession.  I am a chocoholic!  I love everything about chocolate; its taste, its texture, the way it just melts in my mouth and the way it seems to bring about a feeling of euphoria.  One of my favorite movies is even titled "Chocolat,"and although I have been told that it is a hedonistic attack on the penitential season of Lent, I find it a film about uncovering hypocrisy and learning to love.  But that is for another post.

Yesterday I wrote about reading John of the Cross. In The Ascent of Mt. Carmel, John writes about purging of the senses, that is purging ourselves of all inordinate desires that bring pleasure to the senses. Uh oh, I have a problem here!  I don't seek out chocolate, but if it is in my house or at work and I have one bite, then that's the end. I keep eating until it is all gone.  My biggest problem is peanut M&Ms. This confectionary delight combines three great tastes and textures into one, candy, chocolate and peanuts. I can't resist these colorful spheres of pure pleasure.  The other night, feeling a bit low and stressed, I ate practically an entire party size package.  

Later, feeling particularly guilty over my gluttonous experience, I found myself confronted with the idea of purging myself of this guilty pleasure on several levels.  First, for health reasons I should be avoiding anything with high fat content.  Second, it is not doing my weight loss efforts any good.  Third, it is an avoidance of the real issues that are bothering me. And finally, as John writes "But anyone who fails to conquer the joy of appetite will fail to experience the serenity of habitual joy in God by means of His creatures and works." And here I thought gorging myself on chocolate would make things better.

I mentioned that reading John of the Cross has changed my life.  One of the ways that it has changed is that I have been examining the those things that I am attached to. I have been trying to simplify my life and detatch from dependence upon temporal goods, recognition, and even the desire for consolations from God. While these things may be good (and consolations from God are certainly good),  if I am truly going to "prefer nothing to the Love of Christ," then denying these goods can only bring me closer to my goal of union with my Beloved.

Does this mean I will never eat M&Ms again, or delight in a slice of double rich chocolate cake, or deny myself a smooth delectable piece of Godiva?  I don't think I would go that far.  What I do hope to do, by the Grace of God, is to recognize that my "need" for chocolate, or any other food or temporal desire, only keeps me from that which can truly satisfy and bring me joy.  

It's a Matter of Trust..and Patience

I have discovered that it is very easy to talk about trusting God, but a bit more difficult to put it into practice. Last week I wrote that I was having several medical tests.  Well, in addition to the high cholesterol, I just found that that my sonogram showed something that is potentially serious. Of course they don't tell you anything over the phone so I started to worry and after looking the condition up on the internet my mind started expecting the worst.  I decided the best thing to do was go down to the beach to walk and pray.  It was there that I realized that I have to put my money where my mouth is so to speak. I talk about trust in the Lord, now I have to do it, put all my trust in Him, no matter what the outcome.

Sunset at Jones Beach

As I was walking over the sand at sunset, I sensed a calm come over me.  I recall walking on the beach several years ago during a rough time, and "hearing" the Lord tell me that I have much more to suffer. I sort of shrugged it off, but last night those words came back to me.  Yet, what also came back to me were the words of St. Therese in one of her poems. This great saint totally embraced her suffering, giving it all to Jesus, and trusting in His Love for her.

If sometimes bitter suffering
Should come to visit your            heart,
Make it your joy:
To suffer for God...                     what sweetness!...
Then Divine tenderness
Will make you soon forget
That you walk on thorns

Well, I'm not a saint, and I don't think I can easily get to the point that Therese got with regard to her suffering and illness. But I can learn from her.  Her Love for God put her pain and suffering in the proper perspective.  I am praying that I will find out that I really don't have anything too seriously wrong, but I will have to be patient in finding out since I could not get a follow up appointment until the end of August.  Patience is a virtue that is almost as difficult to achieve as trust.  But, it is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit so perhaps God is asking me to pray my favorite novena, the Novena to the Holy Spirit.  Prayer is a better way to deal with situations like this rather than getting anxious any day.