Silence and Communication.

I have written before about silence and how important it is in our lives.  On the Feast of St. Francis de Sales on Jan 24th, Pope Benedict wrote about silence in his message for the 46th World Communications Day which will be celebrated on May 12, 2012. The question that might be asked is, what does silence have to do with communication?  Isn't silence a lack of communication? One might think so. We  often get the "silent treatment" from friends, loved ones or co-workers when there are differences or anamosity between people.  But even that is a form of communication, since it communicates negativity and the lack of desire to settle differences.

In a world filled with constant noise and instant communication, the Pope shows us the necessity of silence as a means to enhance communication, not only with God but with humanity as well. He writes:

Silence is an integral element of communication; in its absence, words rich in content cannot exist. In silence, we are better able to listen to and understand ourselves; ideas come to birth and acquire depth; we understand with greater clarity what it is we want to say and what we expect from others; and we choose how to express ourselves. By remaining silent we allow the other person to speak, to express him or herself; and we avoid being tied simply to our own words and ideas without them being adequately tested.

I happen to love silence. Sure I enjoy talking as well, in fact when I was younger my parents would say I talked too much and would call me a chiaccherona (Italian for chatterbox). Sometimes, like many women, I tell long stories to the point where it takes awhile for me to  get around to what I really want to say. I think some people would enjoy a bit of silence on my part. That is not, however,  what the Holy Father is referring to with regard to silence. We need silence in our lives in order to be able to communicate better with words.  In the silence we hear God's voice and are able to better discern His will and His desires for us with regard to communicating with words.

Silence is difficult for many people. We are so used to noise that silence makes us uncomfortable, and in conversation we often say things without sufficient reflection, leading to mis-communication.  The Pope writes that silent reflection "permits seekers to reach into the depths of their being and open themselves to the path towards knowledge that God has inscribed in human hearts."

The Pope, I believe, offers us a corrective for our noisy world and a means to better communicate and in turn to engage in the ministry of evangelization that is so necessary today. I am considering making silence a large part of my Lenten disipline this year.  The hardest part will be to stop talking to myself out loud and to not offer my opinion when it is not solicited. I think it might be good for me. The idea of silence has been coming to me clearly for a number of weeks, so Pope Benedict's message seems to be a confirmation of what I have been thinking about.  It won't be easy, but I am sure it will be worth it.

You can read the entire text of the Pope's message here.

Keeping Silent

I find myself without words today so I decided to offer a quote that expresses my sentiments on this day:

Silence makes room for remembering. I don’t want to hear patriotic songs, jingoistic speeches, or even well-considered rehearsals of “what happened on that day.” I want to see no pictures of burning towers or flags waving. I wish for empty public space, a communal practice of quiet, to reflect on not only what happened on 9/11 but in the long, sad decade since. For just a brief time, I long for, in the words of an ancient hymn, “all mortal flesh keep silence,” in the face of the fear and trembling that gripped us one September day ten years ago.

I wonder what we would find there—of our selves, our neighbors, and God—in that void of words?

 It is from an blog entry written by Diana Butler Bass in her blog over at Pathos.

Another Dark Night

As much of an inconvenience the power outage brought about by Irene is causing, in one way it is not as bad as most people make it out to be. Yes the food in my freezer is thawing out, but I figure that we can have a big Labor Day weekend BBQ and invite a lot of people to come enjoy the burgers, sausage and ribs.  We might have to take a few cold showers but so far in the three days without electricity, there is still warm water in the water tank.  I have been making morning coffee, breakfast and dinner on the grill.  I can charge my phone and computer at work (and check my e-mail and blogs), and it remains light enough to work outside the house cleaning up what Irene left behind, which is nothing more than lots of leaves and twigs. 

My husband and I have been campers since we were married, so we are considering this a campout, with a few more luxuries, like a toilet, sink and running water.  Last night we took all the twigs we collected and some wood left over from a tree we cut down last year and made a fire in the yard.  Then we did something that we usually don't do after dinner.  We sat and talked, and talked, and talked.  Perhaps in this age of Facebook, the internet, blogs, HDTV and cell phones, we needed something like this storm to get us back to basics.  Real conversation I believe is becoming a rarity these days.  It is so much easier to become a couch potato and sit in front of the TV or computer after dinner than to sit with family and talk about what is going on in our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our fears and even our faith. After my husband went in for the night, I remained outside watching the fire burn down and watched the stars come out. Without lights in our surburban neighborhood, the stars were more visible that they usually would be.  I started to pray these lines from Psalm 8.

When I see your heavens, the work of your hands,

the moon and the stars which you arranged,

What is man that you should keep him in mind,

mortal man that you care for him.

Speaking of faith, I find the silence (except for the noisy generator from the neighbor across the street), is a boon to my prayer life.  Many times when I try to pray at home I have to compete with the TV, music, and phone.  Now there is a stillness and a quiet that is so conducive to prayer.  I will miss that when the lights come back on.  Then there are the candles...lots of them. There is something about candlelight that is calm and serene.  I love praying by candlelight.  I am reminded of my reteat last summer where Compline was always prayed by the light of candle, or the Easter Vigil when the Paschal Candle is processed in and slowly the whole church is bathed in candlelight.  The fact that Christ is our Light, the One who lights our way in the darkness, comes across so beautifully when all you have is candlelight.

Lest I sound hopelessly romantic about the lack of electricity, I do hope the power comes back soon. Last time we lost it for five days and the cold showers got a bit too cold, I longed for real milk in my coffee, a good football game on TV, and I started going through internet withdrawal.  But for now it is an adventure, a time to rediscover some of the things we've lost, a time to set priorities, and a time to realize that living a complicated, noise filled, technology dominated life isn't all its cut out to be and that what's really important are relationships, relationships with God, with family and with friends.  So the blackout  is really a blessing.  Who knows, maybe I'll choose one night a week to have a "blackout" night. 

Mediation - Part III

The Rosary

Continuing on Pope Benedict's reflections on meditation from his Wednesday audience:

"Mary teaches us how necessary it is to find in our days -- with all their activities -- moments to recollect ourselves in silence and to ponder all that the Lord wants to teach us, how He is present and acts in the world and in our life: to be able to stop for a moment and meditate...

The holy rosary is also a prayer of meditation: In repeating the Hail Mary we are invited to think back and to reflect upon the mystery we have announced."

If one has difficulty with meditation, or has never really engaged in it, the Rosary is a good place to begin to learn to practice the art of meditation.  When we pray the Rosary, we meditate on the mysteries of the life of Christ.  Yet so often I hear people praying the Rosary at rapid speed and wonder how they can ponder the mysteries or even reflect upon what God might be saying to them as they pray? I wrote in a previous post that I did get impatient with the way people were praying the Rosary after Mass, and I later recalled that St. Therese got annoyed at the way one of her sisters would bang her beads on the pew.  I am far from being a saint so I still have a long way to go offer it to God as Therese did.  I hope the ladies receive many graces through their race to get through it.  I am also not saying that I always pray the Rosary immersed in meditation.  Sometimes I forget what mystery I am up to, telling me that I am not really paying attention nor putting my heart into prayer.

But there are times, I like to think more often than not, when I do allow the repetition of the Hail Mary, Our Father, and Glory Be to act as a sort of mantra that keeps me focused on the mysteries.  I like to pray the Rosary slowly and often in silence. That is why I usually can't pray it with a group like the one I mentioned, as their speed and their loudness would distract me. Praying the Rosary in a group that prays it meditatively however, is often better than praying it alone.  I have experienced this on pilgrimages and in prayer groups that I once belonged to.  The many voices become as one, as if part of a choir.  The softness of the prayers and sometimes singing in between the mysteries, allows for greater meditation and focus on Christ.

Agony in the Garden
by El Greco

While I do like all the Mysteries, especially the new Luminous Mysteries since there is so much in them to meditate upon, my favorite Mystery is the First Sorrowful Mystery, the Agony in the Garden.  I have always been attracted to the story and paintings of Jesus struggling to accept the will of His Father.  How easily I struggle with doing God's will and feel that God has abandoned me in my suffering.  As I meditate on this Mystery, I put myself in the Garden and I ask Jesus to send angels to support me and ask God to give me strength. I also sense the intense agony that Jesus went through and with Him I can resign myself to accept my meager sufferings and to give them to God, "let it be as your will, not mine would have it."

To those who say the Rosary is simply a rote prayer or boring, the Pope is asking us to use the Rosary to lead us into meditation.  As Mary contemplated the events in the life of her Son, so too we imitate her and ask her to bring us closer to Jesus.

Meditation - Part II

Lectio Divina.

Continuing with the Pope's reflections on meditation on August 17, he said:

"To meditate therefore means to create within ourselves an atmosphere of recollection, of interior silence, so as to reflect upon and assimilate the mysteries of our faith, and all that God is doing in us -- and not only the things that come and go. We can "ruminate" in many ways; for instance, by taking a short passage of sacred Scripture, especially the Gospels, the Acts of the Apostles, the Apostle's Letters, or a page from a spiritual author we are drawn to and which makes the reality of God in our today more present, perhaps taking advice from a confessor or spiritual director; by reading and reflecting on what we've just read, pausing to consider it, seeking to understand it, to understand what it says to me, what it says today -- to open our soul to all that the Lord wants to say to us and teach us."

Monk Reading
by Rembrandt

One of the disciplines that Benedictines, and certainly other religious and laity engage in is Lectio Divina or sacred reading.  It is an essential part of their prayer life. This is what the Pope is speaking about.  Lectio is an ancient approach to prayer that involves four stages:

     Lectio - slow and prayerful reading of a passage

     Meditatio - meditating on the passage

     Oratio- praying with the passage, asking God to speak to you through the words

     Contemplatio - allowing God to speak in the silence

Lectio Divina is best when using scripture but it can be practiced using other spiritual authors as the Pope suggests.  I usually reflect on one of the readings of the day for Mass, but I have also used passages from the Office of Readings or from spiritual books I am reading.  In my two year journey with John of the Cross, I often engaged in Lectio Divina using the writings and poetry of this great mystical doctor.

The first step, lectio, involves choosing a passage and reading it slowing a few times. Some suggest that reading it out loud is beneficial. The second step is meditatio.  We take the passage and "ruminate" on the words.  The suggestion I have been given is to "ponder and mull" the words on the page.  This can't be rushed.  Sometimes it takes about fifteen minutes, but other times it has taken me days to meditate on a passage.

What do I like about Lectio Divina?  First, it forces me to be still and silent.  It is difficult to focus and meditate with all the noise that surrounds us each day and the time I spend in sacred reading quiets the noise and brings me to a quiet place. Second, I become immersed in what I am reading, whether it be scripture or other spiritual reading.  It is different than reading for pleasure, or entertainment, or for academic purposes.  Third, the words speak to me personally. In reading and in meditating upon them I come to know God. Fourth, it is truly prayer.  Prayer is lifting of the mind and heart to God, and in sacred reading both the mind and heart are fully engaged in speaking to and listening to God. Finally, in the stillness and silence, I discover what God is telling me through the passage as I simply sit and listen.  This final step, contemplation, is completely in the hands of God.  It is in this step where the stresses and concerns of the day fade into the background and my body relaxes in God's gentle caress.

Meditation - part I

 My daughter is a licensed acupuncturist and as part of her practice she often encourages patients to engage in some type of meditation. Meditation helps to reduce stress, anxiety and tensions in the body. It also helps clear the mind and allows one to focus better. It has been part of traditional Chinese medicine and Oriental spirituality for thousands of years.  There are many different types of meditation and beginning in the 1960's engaging in some sort of meditation has become very popular in the West.  Yoga and Tai Chi, physical exercises that often produce the same effects as meditation are growing in popularity. Within two miles of my home, I can find several places that offer some sort of meditation or meditative exercise to stressed out people in need of a way to relieve the stresses in their lives, and clear their minds. There are even Catholic retreat centers that offer Zen meditation, Yoga or Tai Chi as part of their spiritual programs, and there are Catholics who have written about the benefits of these practices both physically and spiritually.  But there are other Catholic writers who have warned against them saying that they open those who practice it up to the occult. One has to be careful when dealing with the spiritual life and that our focus always remains with God.

The Church encourages a form of meditation that is often overlooked by those seeking stillness, silence, and a way to connect with God. That practice is prayer.  Too often when people think of prayer they only focus on formal or vocal types of prayer, going to Mass and devotions, praying from prayer books, and reciting rote prayers. A traditional definition of prayer is lifting of our minds and hearts to God. What better way than to sit in silent meditation before Him who created us, and simply BE in His presence.  At his Wednesday audience on August 17, Pope Benedict XVI spoke on the need for meditation and silence in our lives.  In part the Pope said:

"In our own time, we are absorbed with so many activities and commitments, concerns and problems. Often, we tend to fill up all the spaces of the day, without having a moment to stop and reflect and to nourish our spiritual life -- our contact with God. Mary teaches us how necessary it is to find in our days -- with all its activities -- moments to recollect ourselves in silence and to ponder all that the Lord wants to teach us, how He is present and acts in the world and in our life: to be able to stop for a moment and meditate. St. Augustine likens meditation on the mysteries of God to the assimilation of food, and he uses a word that recurs throughout the Christian tradition: "ruminate." The mysteries of God should continually resound within us so that they might become familiar to us, guide our life, and nourish us as happens with the food that is necessary to sustain us. And St. Bonaventure, referring to the words of sacred Scripture, says that they "should always be ruminated on so as to be kept in mind by the ardent application of the soul" 

There are so many ways that we Catholics can practice meditation and once the practice takes root, most find that it produces many of the same physical, psychological effects as other forms of meditation.  The spiritual effects go beyond words. The important thing is to spend the time in silence, invite God in, and let Him take over.  For this to happen, we need to find a quiet place.  For me it is usually in church, or at the beach, or in my summer garden.  In these place I can find the peace and quiet that I need to focus my thoughts and my heart on God.  While it is true that we should always have our Our Lord in our hearts and in our minds, I find that it is through meditation that I make that special connection that allows God to speak to me and to work toward union with Him.  

Silence is Golden

Today I had to walk out of church after Mass lest I be led into sin.  No, it was not something that was said in the homily, or the fact that the priest ad libbed parts of the prayers, or that he chose not to celebrate the memorial of the Dedication of St. Maria Maggiore, one of my most favorite churches in all the world.  What caused me to leave was the behavior of the assembly after Mass.  I am not a stickler for absolute silence in church, however there is a certain etiquette that should be followed regarding being quiet in church, whispering if one must speak so that those who choose to pray are able to.  

Over the past week, the notion of silence has manifested itself to me in different readings and in my personal meditations. I had planned on writing about silence since God certainly was speaking to me about the need for it, yet I was procrastinating. After this morning Mass, I guess God was telling me that I should not put it off any longer. In the book Rediscovering Catholicism, Matt Kelly writes about how important silence is to prayer and how our lives are filled with so much noise that it is almost impossible to hear the voice of God.  He writes, "Our modern world is spinning out of control, and one of the chief contributors to the chaos and confusion of our modern age is noise. We are filled with noise. We are afraid of silence."  In this coming Sunday's first reading, God is found not in the loud thundering sounds of storms, wind and earthquakes, but in the "tiny whispering sound." 

In one of my readings from the Holy Rule this week, Benedict writes with regard to silence in the oratory, "After the Opus Dei, all should leave in complete silence and with reverence for God, so that anyone who may wish to pray alone will not be disturbed by the insensitivity of another."  Pretty strong words.

The benefits of silence are many.  It allows the mind to quiet itself and bring to the forefront things that are really important by taking away the distractions that come with noise.  It allows us to focus our prayer. Most of all, it allows us to hear the still, small voice of our Lord.  

Ridding ourselves of noise is not easy, especially when you live with others who do not share the same views on silence. I guess Jesus faced some of the same issues (although He didn't have to deal with modern electronic noise making devices), because he always went off alone to pray.  We don't always have that luxury, but there are ways to achieve times of silence.  For years I have not played the radio in the car.  Although I once loved listening to music all the time, I find that not listening, even at home, is a good thing, and also lets me appreciate music better when I do choose to listen.  Once a TV addict, I now only watch a little of it, and avoid the news and gossip stations.  My cell phone is usually on silent or vibrate, although I do get chastised for missing calls, most that really weren't that important anyway (what did we do without cell phones - especially in church).  I believe that noise is a huge obstacle to prayer. If we want to pray well, we need to turn off the noise in our lives, or at least a portion of it.  

This brings me back to this morning's incident at church. Several different groups of people were making a lot of unnecessary noise and it got louder and louder as each group tried to be heard over the other.  One group was actually shouting the Rosary, as if our Lady was hard of hearing.  The ladies setting up for a funeral were yelling across the church to each other. A large family group was loudly conversing. There were people in the church trying to pray.  I had the need to pray.  Finally the distraction got so unbearable that my thoughts were wandering far from God, so I left to continue my prayer at home.  I would have preferred to be in front of the Blessed Sacrament, but God is everywhere.  I could have offered up the annoyance, but it was so noisy that this thought didn't even come to my mind until I was home for awhile, and it still would not have given me the silence I needed to hear God.

What all this is telling me, and I hope telling some of you, is to make time for silence in your life, and in places of peace and quiet, to be aware of others need for silence. We can't always go away to pray, although a retreat is probably the best way of achieving silence. Yet even on retreats I have found that there is unnecessary noise and chatter. Why are we afraid of silence?  Why are we afraid to hear God?  One of the things that stand out for me during my travels to Italy, were the old ladies in the churches who would call out "silencio" when people started to speak above a whisper in church.  Perhaps we need some of those old ladies in our churches, on our street corners, in our homes and workplaces.  Maybe we need to be less afraid of silence and realize that it is in the silence that we meet God.

Post script:  Just in case I gave the impression that I lack patience, I did try to pray through this for 15 minutes before I left the church.