Patience and Healing

Healing the Bleeding Woman
Catacomb of St. Peter and St. Marcellinus

My surgery for tomorrow (Monday) has been delayed a few hours.  That's good and bad. The good news is I can sleep later and go to Mass in the morning. The bad news is that I still have to fast from 11:00 tonight.  I am usually asleep by 10 PM so that is not a problem, but if I don't have my coffee and at least something for breakfast then I get a headache and feel sick until I get the cup of java and some protein.  I can't even receive communion at Mass.  As the sisters would always say, "Offer it up."  I guess there is some wisdom there. So I will offer it for those who go hungry each and every day.

So the Lord is asking me to be a bit more patient.  I have been OK anticipating the surgery and it seems half the people I have asked to pray for me have had this surgery or knows someone in their family who has. I have received a lot of advice with regard to recovery, the most important being not to do much at all for the first three days or longer.  I am not the kind of person who could lay around all day doing nothing, but I am being forced to. I will have to have patience with the healing process.

It seems that it's important to be patient when seeking spiritual healing as well. For most of us, spiritual healing doesn't happen in a flash of a moment, but slowly after a period of time.  During this time we need to be open to the Spirit working in us and on us to bring about what we need to grow in our relationship with God, to heal from what ever it is that may keep us from being all that God wants us to be. But it takes faith and trust. Just as the woman who sought healing by touching the hem of Jesus' cloak, so too I must approach the Lord knowing that whatever I ask He will give me if it is in accord with His will for me. 

Perhaps during this time of physical healing, instead of spending hours watching HGTV and useless talk shows. I could spend time focusing on the Lord. I am sure He has a lot to say to me. Hopefully I will do some painting as I started a new canvas, and catch up on some reading and writing as well.  All these things are good for my spiritual well being. Maybe I will uncover something or grow in the creative gifts the Lord has given me...and that would be very good.

Waiting

Like everyone else on the East Coast, I am preparing for Irene.  As I write she is hovering over the Outer Banks and we should start feeling the effects of the outer bands in a few hours.  Right now we are experiencing the "calm before the storm"with occasional light showers and a lot of humidity and an erie feeling that something is coming.

Waiting for Irene

Everything battened down

The yard cleared

This has been quite a week. Tuesday an earthquake, Thursday the news that I have to have surgery and now Irene.  The earthquake was unexpected but with regard to the latter two there has been sufficient warning to get ready.  As far as Irene goes, the boat is out of the water and "safe" in the driveway, the lawn furniture is tucked away as is anything outside that can blow around. We have water, propane for the grill  and lots of ice in the freezer along with food that can be cooked as it defrosts if and when we loose electricity. The cars gas tanks are filled along with two five gallon portable tanks.  We live on the cusp of the voluntary evacuation zone but our home is high enough in elevation (23 feet above sea level) that I don't think we will have a problem staying. It is calm right now and aside from getting out to the anticipated Mass at 5:00 there is nothing much we can do. So now we just wait it out.

The surgery is something that I have been anticipating ever since a sonogram revealed something last month.  I needed to wait for an appointment with the doctor to talk about what needs to be done.  In the meantime I looked up on the internet everything I could about the condition and spoke to quite a number of people. When I went to see the doctor I was a wealth of information and well prepared to speak to him. The surgery is a must and now I have three weeks time to get things organized at work and home in preparation for the surgery and my two week recovery, with a possibility of 6 weeks if it is found laparoscopic surgery can't be done. So, I wait this out as well.

Surprisingly I am quite calm, and I think that being well prepared has much to do with it.  Also it has to do with being spiritually prepared.  I believe those who have faith know that God will be with them though any storm.  Waiting can be a spiritual exercise.  It is a time for prayer, for reflection, for setting one's priorities and getting things right with God.  We wait, prepared and ready to greet the Bridegroom. As I have said many times, it is a matter of trust.  Also, what comes with all this is the knowledge that you can weather anything that comes your way and that you'll never walk alone. (YouTube wouldn't allow imbedding for this one so you'll have to click the link).

It's a Matter of Trust..and Patience

I have discovered that it is very easy to talk about trusting God, but a bit more difficult to put it into practice. Last week I wrote that I was having several medical tests.  Well, in addition to the high cholesterol, I just found that that my sonogram showed something that is potentially serious. Of course they don't tell you anything over the phone so I started to worry and after looking the condition up on the internet my mind started expecting the worst.  I decided the best thing to do was go down to the beach to walk and pray.  It was there that I realized that I have to put my money where my mouth is so to speak. I talk about trust in the Lord, now I have to do it, put all my trust in Him, no matter what the outcome.

Sunset at Jones Beach

As I was walking over the sand at sunset, I sensed a calm come over me.  I recall walking on the beach several years ago during a rough time, and "hearing" the Lord tell me that I have much more to suffer. I sort of shrugged it off, but last night those words came back to me.  Yet, what also came back to me were the words of St. Therese in one of her poems. This great saint totally embraced her suffering, giving it all to Jesus, and trusting in His Love for her.

If sometimes bitter suffering
Should come to visit your            heart,
Make it your joy:
To suffer for God...                     what sweetness!...
Then Divine tenderness
Will make you soon forget
That you walk on thorns

Well, I'm not a saint, and I don't think I can easily get to the point that Therese got with regard to her suffering and illness. But I can learn from her.  Her Love for God put her pain and suffering in the proper perspective.  I am praying that I will find out that I really don't have anything too seriously wrong, but I will have to be patient in finding out since I could not get a follow up appointment until the end of August.  Patience is a virtue that is almost as difficult to achieve as trust.  But, it is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit so perhaps God is asking me to pray my favorite novena, the Novena to the Holy Spirit.  Prayer is a better way to deal with situations like this rather than getting anxious any day.