It is interesting how my impending surgery is causing me to meditate on my own mortality. The other day I filled out a Health Care Proxy, which, please God, will not be necessary. But then again one never knows what might happen. Today after Mass I found myself paging through the hymnal at funeral songs as people were arriving for a funeral. I am not trying to be morbid, but these are things that most people don't want to think about, but perhaps should. I am not anxious or frightened, or expecting the worst. I just want to be prepared.
I also find my nesting instinct is being put into action. Given the fact that I will be home recovering for at least two weeks, I want everything to be nice and neat since I won't be able to do much. Yesterday I washed the remains of Hurricane Irene off all my windows and we cleared the yard of the rest of the leaves and branches. Everything we took down is mostly back up again. I bought paint samples for the dining room but I am not sure if I am going to get around to that. It reminds me of my pregnancies when the nesting instinct took over just before I gave birth. I was painting the house shingles the day before my youngest was born, which could account for the reason she was two weeks early.
My spiritual instincts are also in high gear. Of course I am praying for no complications, and for the doctors and nurses who will care for me, but I am also praying that the Lord reveal to me where I stand before Him. Am I ready, as we heard in today's first reading from Colossians, to be presented to God "...holy, without blemish, and irreproachable before Him"? During the next two weeks before my surgery, I am thinking this will be the basis for my meditation, but it is also something to meditate upon, or at least keep in the back of my mind, at all times. We know that the Lord might call us at anytime, even when we least expect it. I was prepared for Irene, I am getting prepared for surgery and recovery, and I am working on always being prepared to meet Jesus whenever He might call me home.