Another Dark Night

As much of an inconvenience the power outage brought about by Irene is causing, in one way it is not as bad as most people make it out to be. Yes the food in my freezer is thawing out, but I figure that we can have a big Labor Day weekend BBQ and invite a lot of people to come enjoy the burgers, sausage and ribs.  We might have to take a few cold showers but so far in the three days without electricity, there is still warm water in the water tank.  I have been making morning coffee, breakfast and dinner on the grill.  I can charge my phone and computer at work (and check my e-mail and blogs), and it remains light enough to work outside the house cleaning up what Irene left behind, which is nothing more than lots of leaves and twigs. 

My husband and I have been campers since we were married, so we are considering this a campout, with a few more luxuries, like a toilet, sink and running water.  Last night we took all the twigs we collected and some wood left over from a tree we cut down last year and made a fire in the yard.  Then we did something that we usually don't do after dinner.  We sat and talked, and talked, and talked.  Perhaps in this age of Facebook, the internet, blogs, HDTV and cell phones, we needed something like this storm to get us back to basics.  Real conversation I believe is becoming a rarity these days.  It is so much easier to become a couch potato and sit in front of the TV or computer after dinner than to sit with family and talk about what is going on in our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our fears and even our faith. After my husband went in for the night, I remained outside watching the fire burn down and watched the stars come out. Without lights in our surburban neighborhood, the stars were more visible that they usually would be.  I started to pray these lines from Psalm 8.

When I see your heavens, the work of your hands,

the moon and the stars which you arranged,

What is man that you should keep him in mind,

mortal man that you care for him.

Speaking of faith, I find the silence (except for the noisy generator from the neighbor across the street), is a boon to my prayer life.  Many times when I try to pray at home I have to compete with the TV, music, and phone.  Now there is a stillness and a quiet that is so conducive to prayer.  I will miss that when the lights come back on.  Then there are the candles...lots of them. There is something about candlelight that is calm and serene.  I love praying by candlelight.  I am reminded of my reteat last summer where Compline was always prayed by the light of candle, or the Easter Vigil when the Paschal Candle is processed in and slowly the whole church is bathed in candlelight.  The fact that Christ is our Light, the One who lights our way in the darkness, comes across so beautifully when all you have is candlelight.

Lest I sound hopelessly romantic about the lack of electricity, I do hope the power comes back soon. Last time we lost it for five days and the cold showers got a bit too cold, I longed for real milk in my coffee, a good football game on TV, and I started going through internet withdrawal.  But for now it is an adventure, a time to rediscover some of the things we've lost, a time to set priorities, and a time to realize that living a complicated, noise filled, technology dominated life isn't all its cut out to be and that what's really important are relationships, relationships with God, with family and with friends.  So the blackout  is really a blessing.  Who knows, maybe I'll choose one night a week to have a "blackout" night. 

Late have I love you.

Today is the memorial of St. Augustine and although the Sunday takes precedence, I feel Augustine is important enough to merit a post.  Augustine is an interesting character and his lifestyle before his conversion can easily be compared to that of any young person.  Augustine was searching for truth and meaning, much like our young today.  He found it in all the things that really don't satisfy.  If you think about today, many look for meaning to their lives in work, drugs, money, sex and even in false religions.  But none of those things satisfy There is an innate need for God, but so many just don't to realize that it is only with God that true happiness can be found.

It took Augustine 30 years to find out that what he sought was with him all the time. It's like the characters in the Wizard of Oz.  They had to go through all kinds of trials in their search for what they wanted most in life, a brian, a heart, courage and a home, only to find that they possessed them all along.  The Scarecrow, Tin Man, the Lion and Dorothy needed the Wizard to help them realize this.  Augustine had the prayers of his mother Monica, whose memorial was yesterday.  Monica's prayers reached God and Augustine finally recognized that what he was seeking all along was Christ. In his Confessions he wrote of this realization:

Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would have not been at all. You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace.

These words have so much depth, so much meaning, and express a long for Christ that is an innate part of who we are as human beings created in the image and likeness of God.  There is a lot here to meditate upon as each sentence is a gem in itself.

I would write more but Irene has arrived with a fury and the people across the street have already lost electricity.  It is exciting to see the power of nature, but always aware of the devastation  it can cause.  Oh Lord keep us safe and protect us from all forces that may cause us harm.  With each gust of wind, breath you fragrance over us and let us know that we belong to You and without You we are nothing.

Waiting

Like everyone else on the East Coast, I am preparing for Irene.  As I write she is hovering over the Outer Banks and we should start feeling the effects of the outer bands in a few hours.  Right now we are experiencing the "calm before the storm"with occasional light showers and a lot of humidity and an erie feeling that something is coming.

Waiting for Irene

Everything battened down

The yard cleared

This has been quite a week. Tuesday an earthquake, Thursday the news that I have to have surgery and now Irene.  The earthquake was unexpected but with regard to the latter two there has been sufficient warning to get ready.  As far as Irene goes, the boat is out of the water and "safe" in the driveway, the lawn furniture is tucked away as is anything outside that can blow around. We have water, propane for the grill  and lots of ice in the freezer along with food that can be cooked as it defrosts if and when we loose electricity. The cars gas tanks are filled along with two five gallon portable tanks.  We live on the cusp of the voluntary evacuation zone but our home is high enough in elevation (23 feet above sea level) that I don't think we will have a problem staying. It is calm right now and aside from getting out to the anticipated Mass at 5:00 there is nothing much we can do. So now we just wait it out.

The surgery is something that I have been anticipating ever since a sonogram revealed something last month.  I needed to wait for an appointment with the doctor to talk about what needs to be done.  In the meantime I looked up on the internet everything I could about the condition and spoke to quite a number of people. When I went to see the doctor I was a wealth of information and well prepared to speak to him. The surgery is a must and now I have three weeks time to get things organized at work and home in preparation for the surgery and my two week recovery, with a possibility of 6 weeks if it is found laparoscopic surgery can't be done. So, I wait this out as well.

Surprisingly I am quite calm, and I think that being well prepared has much to do with it.  Also it has to do with being spiritually prepared.  I believe those who have faith know that God will be with them though any storm.  Waiting can be a spiritual exercise.  It is a time for prayer, for reflection, for setting one's priorities and getting things right with God.  We wait, prepared and ready to greet the Bridegroom. As I have said many times, it is a matter of trust.  Also, what comes with all this is the knowledge that you can weather anything that comes your way and that you'll never walk alone. (YouTube wouldn't allow imbedding for this one so you'll have to click the link).